Introduction
You probably heard people say the cliche "be yourself" to you when you have difficulty expressing yourself fully. Yet, you constantly battle yourself as you can't resist being your true self.
At some point in your life, you must have experienced something that made you suppress your authentic self. For instance, you were bullied by your classmates for loving something they didn't do because it wasn't cool, or your boss asked you to stop playing your true character at work to maintain the professional environment.
Despite society applying so much pressure on you - living a lie is something that you can't accept. So if you have a hard time being yourself in this world, don't worry; we have your back.
In this article, we are going to discuss the tips and tricks on how you can stay true to your authentic self even when the world is trying to change you.
Why Should You Be Yourself?
Are you doubting if you should be your true self or not? Before answering that question, you should answer why it's essential to be your true self and what's so great about being yourself?
Being yourself gives you total freedom. You aren't locked inside a cage; once you have fully embraced yourself - you don't have to worry about what. You have mental freedom and let your thoughts come naturally.
Moreover, being yourself also gives a person social freedom; thus, they can give their opinions and be honest with themselves and others around them. This authenticity also breeds genuine connections with other people.
In addition, authenticity also forces you to self-reflect and engage in self-exploration - this will eventually help you lead a better life while reflecting on your values and preferences.
How Does Living A Lie Affect You?
If you keep suppressing your true identity and refrain from expressing yourself fully, you will start to feel that your entire life is a lie. Of course, it may make it 'easy' for you to go through life because you aren't being judged, but like Aristotle once said: 'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.' But, on the other hand, living a lie will affect your happiness and mental and even physical health.
Even though things may look settled and fine - this world would think that it 'tamed' you but not being authentic will start to make you feel uncomfortable and unsettled, like something is off. As days pass and you compress your true self, it's hard to relax, and you constantly need to keep track of any lies you've told.
Furthermore, compromising to meet others' expectations and fit into their molds will make you irritable and incomplete. This will also affect the nature of your relationships. Your relationships are bound to suffer when you're living a lie. However, there's no guarantee that your relationships with your friends and family would survive if you were your true self because they are used to seeing the person you pretend to be.
As the world around you is too reluctant to accept you, it will become tough for you to believe that there will ever be someone who would love you unconditionally. It's hard to believe the opposite as you're constantly acting as though your true identity needs to be rejected and hidden. Plus, when you receive a positive comment from someone - it doesn't boost your self-esteem because they validate the false self you are projecting.
Moreover, not being your authentic self will also affect your professional life as you will not be able to pursue your passions or find your purpose. You will also be hesitant to share your creative vows with others because you fear that others in the room may judge you for the quality of your views, which ultimately lowers your self-confidence and self-esteem.
How Can I Break My Shell And Be My True Self?
Till now, you learned the significance of being yourself and how living a lie would affect their lives, but now we are going to discuss several ways how you can be authentic. Below we listed a few ways how you can stop struggling to be your authentic self:
1. Don't Aim to Please Others
There's a significant difference between being kind to others and being foolish. For instance, you will ensure that your spouse and friends are happy and that you don't hurt their feelings. However, being kind to others does not include completely surrendering yourself to them and sacrificing your values and beliefs to please them.
2. Don't Worry About How Others View You.
It's good to remember what others think about you; there's nothing wrong with having and maintaining a good reputation. However, you should not overthink what others think about you or if they are going to consider you a good person or not. You don't have to change yourself for anyone if you haven't done anything wrong.
3. Appreciate Who You Are
Of course, you shouldn't brag about yourself all the time and be humble, but that shouldn't keep you from appreciating yourself and patting yourself on the back. It might be rare for someone (maybe other than your loved ones) to praise you for who you are, so you don't have to wait for someone to compliment you when you can do that to yourself too!
4. Be Confident With Who You Are
Do you ever fall into this trap where you constantly doubt yourself? This usually happens when people compare themselves to others and keep making up 'what if' situations in their heads.
Doubting yourself is natural, but doing that all the time is not okay. Instead, try believing in yourself and be confident with who you are because confidence in yourself will also show others that you know what you are doing.
5. Forgive Yourself
You are a human and bound to make mistakes, so it's okay to forgive yourself for making mistakes. For example, forgive yourself for talking without thinking twice, being rude to other people, or not being able to do things that people expected you to do.
Don't treat yourself harshly for taking wrong steps and making wrong decisions. This thinking pattern will only fixate your attention on the problem and not the solution.
Conclusion
Not being yourself is like compressing or stretching a spring beyond its elastic limit so that when you remove the applied force, it deforms, meaning it doesn't return to its original shape. While you act to be someone else, you start losing yourself and forgetting who you were before this world. Being yourself may come at a cost sometimes. You may sometimes feel like the dust collecting on a book written in a language that people can't decode - the problem isn't the language but the people. If they cared about the book and wanted to read it, they would go out of their way to understand it.
There's no harm in being yourself as long as you are not harming others around you or causing them some serious trouble.
